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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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Then I hit up the park. You know, the one with the big fountain? Yeah, that’s the one. It’s all pretty and stuff, but there’s this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and suddenly, WHAM! The ball comes flying at me. I duck just in time. Phew! Close call.

Ignoring warnings, Israelis take kids on Uman pilgrimage in war-torn Ukraine